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August 2009

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Dec. 27th, 2008

Feeling Good

Hello,
This will be another personal note to those people who know me and read this.
You're welcome to read it even if that's not you.


Hi. I went to the movies last night and saw Seven Pounds with Nigel (pseudonym for my brother), Aine (not real name), Jane(also a pseudonym), and ElliveN (if you didn't guess this one's a pseudo too). The movie was alright. It was confusing in some parts, depressing in many other parts, sexual in one part, and sad in the end. It was different, but I like different.
Still none of us could figure out what the title meant. Unless a heart weighs 7 pounds, which I greatly doubt unless you're some sort of giant....

Elliven sat next to me and that made me feel better about the sad part. I can't cry in movies anyways, so it's not like I was using him as a Kleenex, which would have been embarassing. No, he was cool. And it wasn't a bit awkward when the explicit scene came, but Aine next to me whispered that I should cover Elliven's eyes. (Just in fun)
That part wasn't that bad. My mom might have a problem with it, but it isn't worse that than that one scene in August Rush, and she loved August Rush.
(You know what I mean if you've seen it.)

So anyways I had a  lovely time at the theaters and I didn't even feel bad about giving my brother money to come with us.
 (I gave him, $10) I didn't have to use any cash because I've had a gift card to the theaters since last year that I never used until last night. Score!!!!
So when I got home I went to my mom to say "Thank you, for letting me go." because I had been sick earlier that day. I also was going to tell her about the movie since she loves most things that Will Smith is in ever since Puruit Of Happiness (which I haven't seen still), but she absolutely and completely ruined my whole day.
 She once again threw at me her assumption that I have not gotten over my ex, Aine, even though he has a girlfriend now, Jane. What can I do to convince her otherwise!
I was so angry. But I looked for some relaxing music, called ElliveN and then Aine, and finally calmed down. I felt terrible but friends always help. As well as Michael Buble.

Abigail Dawning

Feb. 23rd, 2008

Strange Feelings

HI,
I've been really active on the site today.
I was just listening to MCR and I was reminded of something that I was feeling when I was going through depression a year ago.
As a Christian I recognize that feeling as not tear evoking,throat wrenching, manic depression, but desperation for something to fill a bottomless hole in me.
I'm not saying that My chem is bad music. I really love them. But they can't fill that bottomless hole in me. I turned to them to meet all my emotional needs and faced everyone else with lying smiles.
Eventually those smiles turned evil and menacing and I just cried all the time.
For me nothing could fill that hole only God. Now I know what that strange feeling was. Emptiness and desperation to fill that hole.
Not depression and anger.
~Abby D~
PS: My mom made me write two essays today. Character Enrichment.
One was on "My life 10 years from now and how I got there" the other was on "Procrastination".

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